Ode to a Cookie

I don't get excited about normal things I think. It is always the simplicity of the details that get me going. For instance, I watched a food network show with the legendary Alton Brown on making corned beef and the nitrates used in the "natural" process that are usually not done anymore in the US. However, here you could really see that done and the corned beef and cabbage I had for lunch the other day was awesome.

Or I got excited that the steak tartare (I love the stuff) was served traditionally where you were provided four little piles of stuff to mix in to your pleasure.

Or the plate of "exotic" fruits (that was the menu title) that I got for desserts included a perfect blackberry.

Or the green beans that I got were a beautiful mixture of different colors which looked great (even though they simply tasted like green beans).

So maybe looking back it is the little things in FOOD that I love in traveling. However, the one little thing that has just gotten me weak in the taste buds is a cookie. A wafer thin cookie (c'mon, have just one... It is waffffer thin.) But this cookie is no ordinary cookie. It is a "Finest biscuit with carmelized almonds and Swiss Chocolate" called a "MandelCaramel" cookie made by Kambly. Simple. Light. Complex. Perfect.

Maybe I just need some quality time at home.

Surprise! It tastes the same

Today for lunch we drove out to the mall. Why? Because we deserved a break today.

Yep. We went to McDonald's. Having not been to this bastion of American cuisine in some time, I prepared to help Coby order in case the cashier did not speak English. See, he wanted to get a Big Mac. If you are not a McDonald's aficionado, which we are, this is two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun. Coby's "Le Big Mac" is exactly that, just hold the special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions.

I glanced over the menu. What should I get? Should I get the chicken sandwich? Should I get the special Ciabatta burger? ...and then I saw it. The one thing I must have. Menu Item Deux.

Le Royale with Cheese.

What is this? This is a Quarter Pounder with Cheese. Why don't they call it a Quarter Pounder? ...because they have the metric system, they wouldn't know what the $%@# a quarter pounder is... Ah, Vincent Vega, we hardly knew you.

Big Plans

The weekend is looming ahead. We definitely feel the pressure. We are in Europe and there are expectations heaped upon our heads -- needs to see the world, needs to make exciting Monday morning conversation. The stress of doing somethinig "cool". Of course, we for the most part, are going to go with option 2, which is to try and instead garner the sympathy vote by spending the weekend working. This option definitely has rewards, but we are going to work through a compromise.

We are going to take Saturday off and run over to Lake Constance which is on the border of Austria, Germany and Switzerland. We are going to try to figure out if we can get a boat to the middle so that we can stand in three countries at the same time.

On Sunday, Coby is going to take option 2 for the entire day. I am going to "take one for the team" and go for a different experience during the day and then work through the evening. My goal is to try to go to Mont Blanc and see the sites.

I have to drive to Chamonix (France) which shouldn't be "too" hard and the great thing about our hotel is that it is very close to the airport -- so getting back is easy. This will be my first border crossing in Europe by myself. Not that it is challenging, but no one ever lets me stop and ask for a stamp in my passport. So if I don't post Sunday night, it probably because I made the border guards angry for stopping traffic and I am in some French prison.

Today we are back in the exciting hotel lobby working. I went into the office this morning for meetings, but the whole office is leaving at noon to celebrate their 10 year anniversary in Geneva. (We were not invited). We work on the wireless in the lobby so that I can secondhand smoke. Coby is very good to sacrifice and smoke here so that I can maintain my vice.

It has been a long week and I look forward to getting away from everyone for a bit.

I don't get it

Wednesday, we went to a comedy club with our Scottish friends here. It was pretty funny, although there was a lot of British pop culture references that I needed a translator to laugh appropriately. I did get the one Harry Potter joke of the evening although it did involve one young guy in the audience and some not so Muggle-like sexual innuendos involving - well - not for general readers.

The work has been tough. We are pretty much getting a good list of why things will never work and having to use that to create our list of what needs to work. Simplest comparison is going blindfolded through a maze -- you can get to the end, but you are going to be pretty bruised from bouncing off all of the walls to find the exit.

Thursday and Friday we had just enough energy to sit at the hotel bar and learn French from the bartender (after leaving work between 8 and 9).

Saturday we decided to take it easy. All the shops are closed here on Sunday, so we got up and went shopping at the local Walmart (Carrefour) for snacks and diet coke. After fighting the crowds, we decided to drive to Bern and wander around. (I posted pictures on my Facebook page -- post a message if you want a link).

There was a protest march that stopped traffic, but since we didn't see any words that looked like "Death" or "Americans" we felt pretty safe wandering around. Bern is a pretty good little city. They banned wooden building back around 1400 after the last fire. The walls are around 1,000 years old, etc... Town has a bit of history.

We stopped by Einstein's apartment from back in his patent office days and arrived just in time to listen to the video in German. Oh -- and my German is not as strong as my French. My Swiss German is not as good as my regular German. So we ate Italian and I went through and decided what we should order -- and then were given English menus.

We drove back and were so energized that we drove back and took a nap. Nicole woke me up with house news and I woke Coby up just on general principle. We decided at that point to stay in.

Sunday was work all day -- and I am writing this after doing 10 hours of documentation work. So, the humor is somewhat lacking.

However, I have to tell you this...

I am in here in Switzerland eating good food. Nicole is in Lexington doing the following:
1. Cleaning House 1.0
2. Mowing/Yard work at House 1.0
3. Painting House 2.0
4. Negotiating with the realtors
5. Keeping up House 2.0

I, again, am here getting room service and complaining about a tough job. Why did she marry me again? I forget.

Hard Working Pays Off Tomorrow

Yesterday went pretty well. From our November workshops, we all knew where we were going to argue and for the kickoff, we simply joked about it in preparation. There is some argument from our friends in IT that the previous efforts were not documented to their standards, but from my perspective as their executives signed off on the earlier efforts -- the amount that I care is somewhat diminished. The only way to be successful is to focus on what you can do and what you are tasked to do.

We went to lunch and I had a cheese tart that was sort of like a thin quiche. Technically, I have no idea how they made the crust on top so perfectly. Annoying. You would think that the French chef had some training.

Leaving the office at 7:30, we had to choose between working to get prepped for today -- or going out to shoot some pool with some guys in the office. It was a tough decision, but being the professionals that we are, we decided to shoot pool. Oddly, my skills had not improved by lack of playing. We then wandered over to the British bar "Mr Pickwicks" for dinner, getting in just before the 10:00 buzzer. I had steak and kidney pie -- because as they say, "When in a British Bar in Geneva..."

The fun part of the evening really was the conversation. There were six of of us -- two Americans, one French, one Brit, one Scot and one German. The British guy and I discussed conversation starter phrases. He was dating an American girl and was going to meet some family in Boston -- so I gave him a few choice phrases. For those of you that don't use conversation starters, they operate on the principle that most people are really not interested in hearing your opinion the majority of the time. Therefore, you simply need to ask a couple of questions and usually the person will happily chat on for hours and hours -- and leave with thinking that you were very enjoyable. Key learning if you ever decide to be a bartender.

Anyway -- here are the football conversation starters for the US.
1. How do you think (QB) will do this year?
2. We didn't get much draft coverage over here, how do you think that (NFL Team) did?
3. How do you think that the defense will be this year?

He didn't believe me that it was that easy, so he walked around and talked to a few Americans in the bar. Unfortunately we had not worked out conversation extraction strategies and he was stuck with each person longer than intended.

For Americans, we simply have to say something like "What do you think of the new (country leader)?" or "When do you think the UK will take the Euro?" or "Sorry about Bush".

There was also one just from Brits concerning "Christmas just isn't the same without... (two comedians that are no longer on television, forgot their names).

I may fit in just yet.

There is no place like "Home"

When I travel, I am constantly torn between a need to experience the new and the need to make where I am more like home. Usually, I can go for a long period without any cravings for food, but there is always that day that I have to have a taco or don't think that I will get by without the requisite Diet Coke.

Sure, I always miss friends, family, my pillow and Nicole (not in that order of course, as Nicole and my pillow rate pretty high). However the experiences are always exciting. For lunch upon arrival, we went back to the local Carrefour and had a homemade pizza (ham, anchovy, caper, onion, tomato). For lunch the first day in the office, I had steak tartare with chips. I tried to go for sushi for dinner for an all raw day, but we didn't wrap up in time and they closed at 10 p.m.

The friends we made on the last trip were happy to see us and lunch/dinner arrangements were promised. All is very comfortable.

Where I just cannot make the travel leap is my bathroom habits. Since this trip is four weeks, we approached it a little differently as I figured everything consumable that I brought would run out and since I would have to buy it again anyway, why not just wait and buy it here? So I find myself looking for similar items from home -- better shampoo, soap, mouthwash, cold medicine -- and then looking to step it up a bit.

Is it wrong to want cushy toilet paper? Is it too American to ask for lotion on my Kleenex? Am I a wimp for eyeing the pillows with envy?

I find myself daydreaming a bit and wondering since I will be there four weeks, would I have time to paint the room a better color. Maybe I could make an arrangement with my neighbor and knock out a wall and we could spread out. (For reference, my room is the same size as Paris Hilton's cell -- literally).

Regardless, we are just focusing on the work and the plans for the weekends. Oddly, the biggest 4th of July celebration outside the US is in Geneva. We saw where Bush was a big hit in Albania so we were looking for flights/trains there. Maybe a day in Paris, Prague or Croatia. Actually -- anything to get out of my tiny room.

Today though, my project really kicks off. Folks are flying in to listen to me drone on about "Roles & Responsibilities", "RACI charts" and as many other "R" words as I can roll off my tongue.

Wish me luck. I only pretend to know what I am talking about.

For the Children...

Today is Sunday. However, the "day" (a day is defined as the time from when I get up to the time I am allowed to lay down in a comfortable position and sleep) began yesterday at 3:15 in the morning.

I am in Geneva now as part of a four week "little" trip. Due to approval delays I was not able to book my tickets until it was really too late to get a "good" rate. This was complicated in that we budgeted for me to do all of this travel in January (translated: cheap rates) instead of June/July (translated: Holy-Cow-You-Can-Not-Be-Serious rates).

As the project manager, I am accountable to hitting our budget. So after berating a few of the team members, when I went to book my tickets the only way that I could hit the budget was for me to fly a slightly less than direct route from Lexington to Geneva. Best case, you can make this trip in 12-13 hours with one connection. I am not completely sure without doing the research, but I am pretty sure that the worst case is making it a 25 hour trip with 4 connections (Lexington to Atlanta to Boston to Paris to Geneva).

My first flight was at 6 a.m. Saturday morning. From reading earlier posts, you might have seen mention of my issues with sleeping on the planes. To remedy this, I was going to stay up late on Saturday to see if exhaustion drives sleep. (Turns out exhaustion + Cold medicine + boring movie options = enough snoring to miss two breakfasts).

I start this wonderful travel experience by staying up late (translate: procrastinating on packing until 10:00p.m. the night before) and a plan of getting up at 3:30 in the morning to get to the airport (relaxing my 2 hour rule) at 4:30. However, as the nervous guy, I set up a three-tiered alarm system.
- Alarm 1: Normal alarm clock set for 3:30 a.m.
- Alarm 2: Cell phone alarm clock set for 3:45 a.m.
- Alarm 3: I drank a lot of tea right before bed.

I went to bed at 12:15 and alarm 3 went off at about 1:30. I tried hitting snooze on that one, but it kept trying to go off until I finally gave up and got up at 3:15 and went for a Guiness record for length of pee. After showering to rehydrate (the California raisin look went out in the 80's) we left and made it to the airport at 4:29. For future reference, airport check-in lines do not open until about 4:36 which had not been communicated to the other 30-40 people standing in line.

The "cool" thing was that I have now traveled enough to skip the normal line and was first in line for the frequent traveler/first class line. So, this early on a Saturday morning, I could feel the love all around me. Most of the travelers were headed through Atlanta on their way to vacations like Disney World, so there were a few little kids with questions like "Mommy, why did that man get to go before us?..."

Unbeknownst (wow, I never get to use that word) to any of us, there was a bit of weather brewing in Atlanta which required one person to "deplane" so that their weight could be offset by additional fuel for circling Atlanta. (Isn't deplane a silly word like you have a plane growing like a mole on your back and you need to be "deplaned"). The flight attendant begged from the lobby. No takers -- apparently the other travelers wanted their vacations. The flight attendant begged from the plane and started offering $200 flight vouchers. I snoozed. The flight attendant begged and begged and mothers started looking nervous when it was mentioned that someone would be drawn "randomly".

The flight attendant offered $400 -- so I took it -- for the children.

Interestingly (is that a word?) the guy that started out as the jerk, was later applauded by the whole plane.

I really can't say much else. My bags went to Atlanta and then Boston. I went to Cincinnati, but with a 7.5 hour layover in Boston, they had plenty of time to drive themselves, stopping to see the museums, and meet me there. We then happily met each other in Geneva.

I actually slept most of the rest of the trip.

Throwing Cans of Dr. Pepper at the Squirrels

Actually, it was one can of Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper but that wasn't quite as catchy of a title.

Also, for those of you that prefer your squirrels in "scampering" mode rather than those of you that like your squirrels in a little gravy on biscuits -- I should state quickly that my keen sense of distance and timing, coupled with my strong athletic ability, was in such a high form that I was able to hit the same yard that the squirrel was in, but just barely.

To tell the story, I should start at the beginning. Not quite so far back as the "When a Daddy and a Mommy love each other...", but back about a year. My wife wanted a new house and had very specific requirements. She wanted at least 4 bedrooms with a large utility room with a basement with a nice kitchen in a good neighborhood with good schools with friendly neighbors with children holding hands and singing in the streets. I, on the other hand, just wanted trees.

We, meaning Nicole, looked and looked and finally nagged enough about a house that we went, looked, fell in like and closed in the span of 20 days (including loans, etc.) This was properly efficient for me to puff out my chest and feel good about my project management skills.

However, for those of you that have not moved into a second house, there is a universal law that things will start to go bad with everything just as you are trying to sell and then after you have signed all the paperwork and are in the new house.

For example, one week before the move House 1.0 decided that the dryer was a unnecessary luxury. After all, it was warm outside and with all the talk of global warming, we could spare the electricity. However, there was not a committee meeting to discuss the issue and my wife was not in agreement. It was still under warranty (dryer door issue) but still -- frustrating.

Not to be outdone, House 2.0 decided that a functioning garage door was also an unnecessary luxury and decided to go on strike by unattaching itself from the actual door. Again, in our fine democracy, there was no meeting, vote or majority consensus.

So that is why on a fine Friday morning I was parked outside our lovely house under our lovely old oak tree. The same oak tree that a family of blue jays had under contract with the city for air rights -- and felt that the angry sqawking was not enough escalation for me to speed up my process of removing myself from their property.

So they pooped on me.

Startled, I did the only thing I could think of as appropriate for the time. I let out a squeak like a little girl, threw the soda can I was carrying and nearly hit an innocent squirrel.

Read This Blog

So my last post was almost 4 months ago to the day.

This post is simply to get my friend Tria to stop pestering for a freakin' post.

Love always. Matt.

40 Degree Drop

It has been a little while since my last little notes -- but I miss writing this little blog. Or at least I miss the imaginations that people are laughing at my little adventures. As always, my goal is simply to bring joy to the people -- even if it IS always about me.

My next trip is to visit a friend in Ottawa. Now you should know that he his a friend because I am headed into the Arctic in the middle of the freakin' winter to see the guy. Last check, it was 40 degrees colder there than here.

He used to live in Lexington, but started a company with two of my other colleagues (www.mercurygrove.com). This originally was going to be just me -- but the other two guys are going to go as well. We intend to experience the real Canada -- the hocky, the curling and the funny little thing called poutine.

Poutine, as I understand is cheese fries and gravy (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poutine). Now, I should say that one of my New Year's resolutions involved weight loss as I weigh about 50% more than I did when I graduated college. Oddly, this menu item actually shows up in Weight Watchers.

In the same conversation where my friend was complaining that the canal was not completely frozen over, he asked that I bring my swim suit and a pair of sandles. I must say that I have watched way too many Road Runner/Coyote cartoons to fall for that one. I can only hope that he means that the walk to the indoor hot springs requires footwear.

Also, oddly enough, it seems that the most direct route from Cincinnati to Ottawa is through Atlanta. I really need to find someone in air traffic control.