Break a Toe

I don't have a lot exciting to say -- only that I broke my toe this morning on a chair in the hotel. It has turned a lovely shade of black.

The only other point of interest today was the conversation Coby had at lunch today where he was trying to get a plain hamburger at the Burger King. He had mastered the technique in many languages, but had yet to learn the German version.

In French -- au naturel...
In Spanish -- se nada...
In English -- just the meat and bun and don't make me come over there.

In German, it was much more difficult. We spent the entire car ride over there in a "Who's on First?" scenaraio.

Coby: How you order a burger with just the meat and bun
Friend: So you want it medium? (say meat and bun out loud, it sounds like medium)
Coby: Yes, that is right, just meat and bun
Friend: Well, I guess you could just say "Medium" for the cooking. I have never ordered it this way...
Me (figuring out what is going on): So to say "No Lettuce, no tomato, no sauce, etc..." we would say "Medium"?
Friend: Oh, so you just want the burger?
Coby: Yes -- and the bun
Friend: And the Cheese?
Coby: No, just the meat and the bread
Friend: What about the sauce?
Coby: No, no sauce
Friend: Really -- no sauce, no cheese?
Coby: Yes, I am picky
Friend (in good German manner): But they will still charge you for it
Coby: I know, I just want the meat and the bun
Friend: I don't know if you can order it this way
Coby: No, I know I can -- I may just need your help.

Coby: Guten Tag! Sprechen sie Anglische? (Hi, do you speak English?)
BK Fraulein: Nein
Coby: Um, Help
Friend: (In German): He only wants the burger and the meat

...long conversation which is a repeat of the above...

Friend: So I guess you would say to them "Plain"

Autobahn Driving

Saturday we slept in. I read and worked a bit -- and then Coby came to pick me up to head to Frankfurt. He got kicked out of his room before he could finish our production updates -- so we had to get him an internet connection.
- Hotel no connection (I could, he could not)
- Standing outside the office trying to get wireless -- no joy
- Hotel next door (I could, he could not)
- Paying a big fee two hours later... finally

Anyway, our plans to leave at 11 were delayed a tad to 5 p.m... We had about 5 1/2 hours to go so after dinner at -- you guessed it -- McDonald's... Tom Tom led us north.

The trip was a little slow (we are sure we got two speeding tickets) until we got to Germany and the speed limit was eliminated. I learned a few things
1) The top speed of our brand new Hyundai is 190km (roughly 120mph)
2) The autobahn will suddenly insert speed limits near interchanges of 80km (roughly 50mph)
3) Needing to adjust from 190km to 80km in a short span is very good at keeping the car passengers awake.

Coby drove. I held on tightly to the appropriately titled handle.

We got to the hotel around 10:30 and went for dinner (at a kabab stand, no less) around midnight.

Sunday -- met at 1:30 for lunch at Subway, walked around a bit and then back to work... It is an exciting life we lead.

Geneva Again

Thursday
I started the morning with the light version of the British breakfast. It was only one piece of bacon, one sausage, one tomato, one poached egg, 4 pieces of toast with homemade jam, one bowl of fruit salad, one glass of orange juice, and finally one pot of tea. The full version was double that, and again I wonder about the comments about American portions.

I then had to get some help getting out of my chair with a crowbar, a jack and a crane -- but arranged for a late checkout so that I could digest the food, handle my conference calls, and finalize the packing for my 11:15 pickup.

The hosts offered to carry down my bags, but this was cleverly disguished as meaning that "Our stairs are narrow and you have a big bag and we do not want you marking up our walls" but I said I was fine. I even offered to drop my luggage out the window and carry my clothes down t-shrit by t-shirt if it made them more comfortable. However, some people don't get my humor. Sigh.

I was then off to Heathrow Terminal 5 which is very very nice. I had lunch at a British restaurant (Ploughman's lunch which is really cheese, fruit, bread and ham) and then flew to Geneva. I checked into the hotel and wandered over the office to say a couple of "Hellos". I then went with Stevie and his Dad to see the Celtics win the Scottish Premiere League.

Friday
Friday was normally work, training, and meetings. We went out for a late dinner after our next set of Go Live activities. About 8 of us went out for pizza and it was good to see everyone -- and hear about my friend Nicolas trip to America where the dollar is cheap and the steaks are plentiful.

Work Work Work

I did the whole work thing. It is really getting in the way of my travels.

The office is in an old English Country house -- and by old, I mean only about 400 years.

The lawn and gardens are well tended and completely over run by rabbits. Literally about 40-50 rabbits frolick about on the lawn. It should be noted that the rabbits seemed to be everywhere but on the cafeteria menu, despite my several requests.

I went out for a couple fo meals for dinner. It is always a bit odd to go by yourself. I try to read a bit during dinner, but I have 6 1/2 weeks to go and I have already finished 2 of 3 books. Poor planning on my part.

Tonight I went to Hotel du Vin based on a recommendation from a colleague. It was really good. I had a warm snail and mushroom salad, roasted pork belly with apple and porcini jus -- and then a chocolate/orange mousse. Last night was dinner with the country controllers -- chicken liver parfait, beetroot & wensleydale risotto and then a sticky toffee pudding with butterscotch sauce.

The night before, in honor of Coby, I had a burger. Granted it was a lamb curry burger, but a burger just the same. No McDonald's in sight. For dessert I had a chilled Grand Marnier souffle that just was unspeakably delicious. Sigh.

Tomorrow I head off to Geneva. I am going to work from the hotel here before I fly out in the afternoon. Tomorrow night I am supposed to go watch Chelsea play at an English pub with my Scottish friends.

British Checklist

I arrived in the very green and very beautiful Henley on the Thames. This is English countryside at the finest.

I go into the bed and breakfast -- the Falaise House, very nice. I am welcomed (by name) by the hostess and given a choice of rooms. I take the one with the shower versus the bath -- and she keeps suggesting the bigger room given the size of my one suitcase. She keeps calling me "My Love" and "My Dear" -- and I am feeling very British.

So, off I go to be British.

Item 1: Food
I wander over to find a pub. The issue seems to be not to find a pub, but to figure out which one to go to... My driver had explained the differences between pubs and free houses, but didn't have one to suggest. Therefore, without anything better to go on, I went to the Argyle pub because while I knew nothing about their food -- they make good socks.

I sat at the table patiently, which is a bit troublesome when you are traveling alone as I feel like I am a stalker in training. You just can't help but watch people and also feel like they are watching you. The waiter finally notices me and let's me know that you order at the bar. Ah...

I order the fish and chips because that is what you do. It came with peas. Check

Item 2: Ale
Room Temperature. Check. Non-carbonated. Check.

Item 3: Tea
I wandered around downtown and saw that the local church was offereing tea. I stopped by and chose a little cake (a heavy orange cake with raisins and cherries) and tea. I was not sure how much a "spot of tea" was so I had two cups.

So within 4 hours of landing -- I think that I have done it all.

I did attend a choir event at the church which was only built in 1204. I misread the event and actually attended Catholic mass. Unintentional, but if anyone in the family is reading this, please tell my mother I went to church this Sunday.

I was having trouble keeping awake after the time change, but a Catholic mass never lets you sit, stand or kneel long enough to fall asleep.

I went to bed at a very late 8 p.m.

First Class

I definitely have a philosophy about dealing with the service professionals. I watch in amazement as countless people demean the people working the typically lesser paid jobs while at the same time they demand favors. I have a former boss that says that he can tell everything he needs to know about someone by the way that they play golf. He can tell how they handle stress, how they recover from a bad situation, how they reason and how well they carry themselves with others. I say, give me an evening at a restaurant or let me fly with someone -- and I can tell within a few minutes whether or not you are a good person.

This philosophy carries over to flying. I have a few things I always do...
1) I always dress up a little bit. Not that I am trying to be pretentious -- everyone knows that without my wife I would have zero fashion sense -- I just want to look like I care.
2) I always smile and try to chat up the airline staff. If they are busy or don't want to chat, I accept that.
3) I always help any older person, woman or child get things situated when they obviously need a bit of help.
4) I try to relax and forget the stress. Typically more so than I can do anywhere else as for some zen reason, I seem to simply accept that I will get where I am going within a day or so of my intended time within a suitcase or so of what I started with... I am always caring a mobile phone, passport, credit card and laptop. Anything or anyone else can be purchased, called, or emailed.

So I get to Atlanta for the long layover. I am patient with the waitstaff at Fridays after an hour or so of waiting on my Diet Coke. (Don't ask for any Pepsi product in Atlanta, you get a lecture.) I patiently relax in the airline gate waiting area.

I look at my ticket and I realize that I have the worst of the worst... I am in a middle seat of the middle section. I am guaranteed to get zero sleep. So I walk over the the desk and say politely that I just noticed that I am in a middle seat, I understand that they are busy but if anything opens up anywhere else on the plane that I would definitely consider it a personal favor if they could help me.

The British guy looks at the ticket, recognizes my name as a former general and says he would do what he can, but looks very doubtful. I thank him and tell him that I completely understand. I wish him luck with all the demanding people in line -- and tell him that all Americans aren't this annoying, just all the people in this particular line...

5 minutes pass and my name is called. Aisle seat
5 minutes more pass and my name is called and suddenly I am in first class
5 minutes more pass and my name is called again -- uh oh, thinking my first class assignment was temporary, but no -- he is giving me a better first class seat.

The funny part about it too was that a woman cut in front of me to board the plane. She was rude and giving the woman a hard time about the ticketing process. She, of course, boarded in front of me (I am never really in a hurry to get into a seat that will be conforming to my butt for 8 hours) and then was horrified that I was sitting next to her... and she apologized for several minutes... Ah Karma.

I arrived at Heathrow very rested, got my luggage and met my driver at the exit. I put my luggage in the "boot" and walked around to get into the passenger side. Of course, when I opened the door to the British car, the "passenger" seat came equipped with a steering wheel, gas pedal and full controls. A nice British voice spoke very matter of factly and said, "If it is all well with you, I will do the driving".

Crikey.