Break a Toe

I don't have a lot exciting to say -- only that I broke my toe this morning on a chair in the hotel. It has turned a lovely shade of black.

The only other point of interest today was the conversation Coby had at lunch today where he was trying to get a plain hamburger at the Burger King. He had mastered the technique in many languages, but had yet to learn the German version.

In French -- au naturel...
In Spanish -- se nada...
In English -- just the meat and bun and don't make me come over there.

In German, it was much more difficult. We spent the entire car ride over there in a "Who's on First?" scenaraio.

Coby: How you order a burger with just the meat and bun
Friend: So you want it medium? (say meat and bun out loud, it sounds like medium)
Coby: Yes, that is right, just meat and bun
Friend: Well, I guess you could just say "Medium" for the cooking. I have never ordered it this way...
Me (figuring out what is going on): So to say "No Lettuce, no tomato, no sauce, etc..." we would say "Medium"?
Friend: Oh, so you just want the burger?
Coby: Yes -- and the bun
Friend: And the Cheese?
Coby: No, just the meat and the bread
Friend: What about the sauce?
Coby: No, no sauce
Friend: Really -- no sauce, no cheese?
Coby: Yes, I am picky
Friend (in good German manner): But they will still charge you for it
Coby: I know, I just want the meat and the bun
Friend: I don't know if you can order it this way
Coby: No, I know I can -- I may just need your help.

Coby: Guten Tag! Sprechen sie Anglische? (Hi, do you speak English?)
BK Fraulein: Nein
Coby: Um, Help
Friend: (In German): He only wants the burger and the meat

...long conversation which is a repeat of the above...

Friend: So I guess you would say to them "Plain"

Autobahn Driving

Saturday we slept in. I read and worked a bit -- and then Coby came to pick me up to head to Frankfurt. He got kicked out of his room before he could finish our production updates -- so we had to get him an internet connection.
- Hotel no connection (I could, he could not)
- Standing outside the office trying to get wireless -- no joy
- Hotel next door (I could, he could not)
- Paying a big fee two hours later... finally

Anyway, our plans to leave at 11 were delayed a tad to 5 p.m... We had about 5 1/2 hours to go so after dinner at -- you guessed it -- McDonald's... Tom Tom led us north.

The trip was a little slow (we are sure we got two speeding tickets) until we got to Germany and the speed limit was eliminated. I learned a few things
1) The top speed of our brand new Hyundai is 190km (roughly 120mph)
2) The autobahn will suddenly insert speed limits near interchanges of 80km (roughly 50mph)
3) Needing to adjust from 190km to 80km in a short span is very good at keeping the car passengers awake.

Coby drove. I held on tightly to the appropriately titled handle.

We got to the hotel around 10:30 and went for dinner (at a kabab stand, no less) around midnight.

Sunday -- met at 1:30 for lunch at Subway, walked around a bit and then back to work... It is an exciting life we lead.

Geneva Again

Thursday
I started the morning with the light version of the British breakfast. It was only one piece of bacon, one sausage, one tomato, one poached egg, 4 pieces of toast with homemade jam, one bowl of fruit salad, one glass of orange juice, and finally one pot of tea. The full version was double that, and again I wonder about the comments about American portions.

I then had to get some help getting out of my chair with a crowbar, a jack and a crane -- but arranged for a late checkout so that I could digest the food, handle my conference calls, and finalize the packing for my 11:15 pickup.

The hosts offered to carry down my bags, but this was cleverly disguished as meaning that "Our stairs are narrow and you have a big bag and we do not want you marking up our walls" but I said I was fine. I even offered to drop my luggage out the window and carry my clothes down t-shrit by t-shirt if it made them more comfortable. However, some people don't get my humor. Sigh.

I was then off to Heathrow Terminal 5 which is very very nice. I had lunch at a British restaurant (Ploughman's lunch which is really cheese, fruit, bread and ham) and then flew to Geneva. I checked into the hotel and wandered over the office to say a couple of "Hellos". I then went with Stevie and his Dad to see the Celtics win the Scottish Premiere League.

Friday
Friday was normally work, training, and meetings. We went out for a late dinner after our next set of Go Live activities. About 8 of us went out for pizza and it was good to see everyone -- and hear about my friend Nicolas trip to America where the dollar is cheap and the steaks are plentiful.

Work Work Work

I did the whole work thing. It is really getting in the way of my travels.

The office is in an old English Country house -- and by old, I mean only about 400 years.

The lawn and gardens are well tended and completely over run by rabbits. Literally about 40-50 rabbits frolick about on the lawn. It should be noted that the rabbits seemed to be everywhere but on the cafeteria menu, despite my several requests.

I went out for a couple fo meals for dinner. It is always a bit odd to go by yourself. I try to read a bit during dinner, but I have 6 1/2 weeks to go and I have already finished 2 of 3 books. Poor planning on my part.

Tonight I went to Hotel du Vin based on a recommendation from a colleague. It was really good. I had a warm snail and mushroom salad, roasted pork belly with apple and porcini jus -- and then a chocolate/orange mousse. Last night was dinner with the country controllers -- chicken liver parfait, beetroot & wensleydale risotto and then a sticky toffee pudding with butterscotch sauce.

The night before, in honor of Coby, I had a burger. Granted it was a lamb curry burger, but a burger just the same. No McDonald's in sight. For dessert I had a chilled Grand Marnier souffle that just was unspeakably delicious. Sigh.

Tomorrow I head off to Geneva. I am going to work from the hotel here before I fly out in the afternoon. Tomorrow night I am supposed to go watch Chelsea play at an English pub with my Scottish friends.

British Checklist

I arrived in the very green and very beautiful Henley on the Thames. This is English countryside at the finest.

I go into the bed and breakfast -- the Falaise House, very nice. I am welcomed (by name) by the hostess and given a choice of rooms. I take the one with the shower versus the bath -- and she keeps suggesting the bigger room given the size of my one suitcase. She keeps calling me "My Love" and "My Dear" -- and I am feeling very British.

So, off I go to be British.

Item 1: Food
I wander over to find a pub. The issue seems to be not to find a pub, but to figure out which one to go to... My driver had explained the differences between pubs and free houses, but didn't have one to suggest. Therefore, without anything better to go on, I went to the Argyle pub because while I knew nothing about their food -- they make good socks.

I sat at the table patiently, which is a bit troublesome when you are traveling alone as I feel like I am a stalker in training. You just can't help but watch people and also feel like they are watching you. The waiter finally notices me and let's me know that you order at the bar. Ah...

I order the fish and chips because that is what you do. It came with peas. Check

Item 2: Ale
Room Temperature. Check. Non-carbonated. Check.

Item 3: Tea
I wandered around downtown and saw that the local church was offereing tea. I stopped by and chose a little cake (a heavy orange cake with raisins and cherries) and tea. I was not sure how much a "spot of tea" was so I had two cups.

So within 4 hours of landing -- I think that I have done it all.

I did attend a choir event at the church which was only built in 1204. I misread the event and actually attended Catholic mass. Unintentional, but if anyone in the family is reading this, please tell my mother I went to church this Sunday.

I was having trouble keeping awake after the time change, but a Catholic mass never lets you sit, stand or kneel long enough to fall asleep.

I went to bed at a very late 8 p.m.

First Class

I definitely have a philosophy about dealing with the service professionals. I watch in amazement as countless people demean the people working the typically lesser paid jobs while at the same time they demand favors. I have a former boss that says that he can tell everything he needs to know about someone by the way that they play golf. He can tell how they handle stress, how they recover from a bad situation, how they reason and how well they carry themselves with others. I say, give me an evening at a restaurant or let me fly with someone -- and I can tell within a few minutes whether or not you are a good person.

This philosophy carries over to flying. I have a few things I always do...
1) I always dress up a little bit. Not that I am trying to be pretentious -- everyone knows that without my wife I would have zero fashion sense -- I just want to look like I care.
2) I always smile and try to chat up the airline staff. If they are busy or don't want to chat, I accept that.
3) I always help any older person, woman or child get things situated when they obviously need a bit of help.
4) I try to relax and forget the stress. Typically more so than I can do anywhere else as for some zen reason, I seem to simply accept that I will get where I am going within a day or so of my intended time within a suitcase or so of what I started with... I am always caring a mobile phone, passport, credit card and laptop. Anything or anyone else can be purchased, called, or emailed.

So I get to Atlanta for the long layover. I am patient with the waitstaff at Fridays after an hour or so of waiting on my Diet Coke. (Don't ask for any Pepsi product in Atlanta, you get a lecture.) I patiently relax in the airline gate waiting area.

I look at my ticket and I realize that I have the worst of the worst... I am in a middle seat of the middle section. I am guaranteed to get zero sleep. So I walk over the the desk and say politely that I just noticed that I am in a middle seat, I understand that they are busy but if anything opens up anywhere else on the plane that I would definitely consider it a personal favor if they could help me.

The British guy looks at the ticket, recognizes my name as a former general and says he would do what he can, but looks very doubtful. I thank him and tell him that I completely understand. I wish him luck with all the demanding people in line -- and tell him that all Americans aren't this annoying, just all the people in this particular line...

5 minutes pass and my name is called. Aisle seat
5 minutes more pass and my name is called and suddenly I am in first class
5 minutes more pass and my name is called again -- uh oh, thinking my first class assignment was temporary, but no -- he is giving me a better first class seat.

The funny part about it too was that a woman cut in front of me to board the plane. She was rude and giving the woman a hard time about the ticketing process. She, of course, boarded in front of me (I am never really in a hurry to get into a seat that will be conforming to my butt for 8 hours) and then was horrified that I was sitting next to her... and she apologized for several minutes... Ah Karma.

I arrived at Heathrow very rested, got my luggage and met my driver at the exit. I put my luggage in the "boot" and walked around to get into the passenger side. Of course, when I opened the door to the British car, the "passenger" seat came equipped with a steering wheel, gas pedal and full controls. A nice British voice spoke very matter of factly and said, "If it is all well with you, I will do the driving".

Crikey.

Glamorous Lifestyle

We got a suite this time as that gives us a kitchen, two bedrooms, living room and bath.

I wake up about 7:15, shower and start going through email. We leave for the office about 8:30 pass customs and get to the office just before 9. I usually go to my first set of meetings or teach our classes until 12 and then we break for lunch. Most days meetings do not start again until 2, so I can do a little more prep/email before we get started again. Meetings wrap up in Europe by 6 and usually I only have calls back with the US a couple nights a week. We do email and work for the next day and leave the office by 8 or 9.

Generally, we head back to the apartment, I eat a couple granola bars and jump back on to do email/work until about 10:30. A couple nights a week we go out with friends -- generally that is a later in the week proposition. Yesterday, we worked most of the day and then went out for dinner (Mexican) with our Scottish friends. Today, we are working this morning and are supposed to go to dinner (Fondue) with our German friends in town from the Phillipines. Next weekend there is no "go live" and my architect is leaving for the US. I am going to try to do something fun.

The odd part is that on Friday we finalized our training plan for our country rollouts -- which led to the fact that this is my last trip to Geneva. That is kind of bittersweet. I am happy for it to be over, but I am going to miss a few good friends I have made. It feels a bit rushed.

Ah, well -- back to work.

Typical Trip

These trips are starting to get to be a bit routine. I have a bit of a pattern that I go through -- I don't know if it is all the OCD working itself out or simply the comfort of going with what works.

Packing
I really do hate to pack, which is odd, since Nicole does all of the laundry which means I have the monumental task of putting things in a traveling box instead of a stationary closet. It really shouldn't be that hard. It is all really based on a combination of proscratination and a fear that I won't have something that I "need".

• Fear 1: I will forget something. This is completely unfounded since as long as I have the three essentials, there really is no problem (passport, credit card, unbacked up laptop with all of my work).
• Fear 2: That there will be some activity for which I will not have some essential item. Every trip so far to Geneva (except my summer trips), I have brought clothes to ski. This trip I did not and we are supposed to go ski tomorrow. I have suits and work clothes. I have the clothes to go out nights/weekends. I have exercise clothes -- which I have determined just take up space and I no longer bring, I have given up the dream of rock-hard-travel-abs. Sigh.
• Fear 3: I will be made fun of... for my BFS. My primary travel suitcase is a pretty good size. Unfortunately, it is dwarfed by the even bigger suitcase I bring along with it. Luckily, I always reserve an automatic car which doesn't come in "Mini Cooper."

The packing starts about two weeks in advance where I start compiling a list of the things I need to bring with me for others -- and the books/DVDs I want to bring. This time I went with the nice calm wholesome All-American Dexter, season 1. In Europe, if you prefer to understand what you are watching you have the choice of CNN, BBC World or Sky News.

I first start emptying my work backpack of all the random things that seem to hide in there. I realized I was carrying about 4 pounds of change in various currencies, apparently for exercise. In the front pocket I put a pen (for visa entry/exit), my travel toothbrush and a travel container of Advil -- organized left to right. In the zipper pocket above goes my laptop headphones. In the pouch on my left go my mobile phones and security badge -- the pocket on the right holds mints and watch until I get through security. In the second compartment I put cough drops (airplane dryness) and granola bars. In the third compartment goes (in order) noise cancellation headphones (left), power convertor & cord on the right -- then book for plane on side with pages facing down on the left and the DVDs on the right and I top it with a travel pillow. This leaves room in this pocket for the two bottles of Diet Coke I will grab for the plane once I pass through security. The last pocket gets my laptop and two magazines with the laptop nearest my back. On top of the laptop is a ziplock bag with toothpaste and mouthwash for the plane.

My other carry-on gets a change of clothes for the way over -- chocolate on the way back. (They have only misplaced my luggage twice and both times it was when I didn't pack the carry-on bag.)The other bags get packed normally at the last minute. The only additional thing that I do is try to pack the batteries next to the liquids (Pepto and Nyquil) with cables running near them. Oddly, this bag ends up getting opened every single time.

Actual Travel
I try to get to the airport two hours early even though I only need about 10 minutes to get to the plane. Frequent travels scoff at this concept -- but they just cannot comprehend the inner peace that I get when I am where I am supposed to be without stress. The guy with whom I do most of the travel seems to start every story with "So we were an hour from the airport..." and ends with "...but we just made the plane."

In Lexington, the security takes no time at all as everything is pretty well organized to get out and through the x-ray machine. This time I was frisked my a nice old guy who was very polite. I had switched flights to later in the day, so I was flagged. I sit in the Bourbon Bar, put my watch back on, and start my book while I savor one of the last Diet Cokes that I will drink that has enough ice in it to actually make a difference.

On the first flight to Cincinnati, I get in my seat with one of the diet Coke bottles in the seat pocket. I start to read, but as I am usually in the exit row, I always interrupted by the flight attendant looking at my huge muscles and then looking concerned and trying to confirm that I would be okay getting the door open in the event of an emergency. Since I have learned that flipping her the bird does not get you the extra bag of peanuts, I smile and nod enthusiastically.

I read until the plane starts to take off and I then watch Lexington fade away beneath the plane. After a deep sleep of 35 minutes, we arrive in Cincinnati for me to switch terminals by bus and get over to Max & Ermas or Wolfgang Pucks (Terminal B) for what really will be my last Diet Coke with ice.

Before we board, I try to scout out the biggest human being in the terminal and place odds on them sitting next to me. They seem to be very good.

We get on the plane. I place the two bottles of soda, my book and headphones in the seat pocket. The backpack under the seat in front and the carry on above. Travel pillow is set. I reset my watch to Geneva time and move it from my left arm to my right -- as I sleep with my arms crossed and my left arm is always under.

Nine long hours later we arrive in Paris and I usually have only slept for a couple of hours. I switch terminals -- which requires leaving and coming back through customs, security, etc... I buy a new (warm dang it) Diet Coke a ridiculous sum and fall asleep at the gate. I board the last crowded flight to Geneva, get through border control, baggage claim and security -- rent the car and head to the hotel.